One of the ‘seeming’ challenges with waking up to a deeper ‘truth’ is feeling disconnected from people.
- Have you lost interest in meaningless conversations?
- Are you tired of judgement and gossip?
- Are you done with ‘filler’ chit chat?
- Could you be losing relationships for truth?
I’ve had clients who are ‘waking up’ get really concerned, almost reaching panic levels when spending time with friends or family and seeing the utter degree of non-sense being communicated.
They ask me…
“How can I possibly listen and engage in this B.S. anymore? How can I buy into the negative undertones of blame, judgment, whinging, victimisation, gossiping and just boring superficial ‘filler’ conversation about shit all?”
“Ohhhhhh GOD! Help me! Will I ever want to speak to anybody AGAIN!”
Easy there my friend, take a moment to breathe, there is very good news coming.
But first, let’s get very clear about what’s happening to you…
In the waking up process, you are going through a radical shift in your ‘values’. What’s important to know about values is they drive everything, including every conversation and interaction you have with people (no matter who they are).
At the fundamental level, relationships are based on relating with/on shared values.
What’s important to understand about values is they are more important than people, personalities or history. One of the strongest values in relationships is loyalty. We are loyal by nature. Loyalty also forms the basis of another massively important value in relationships, which is trust.
So here it is…
Your sense of security, belonging and fulfilment is no longer anchored in blood lines, how much history you have with someone or how much someone has done for you.
If you have lived long enough, you will have experienced how transient these things are. You may have also noticed how toxic relationships become when your loyalty is anchored in people and just how fickle peoples’ promises are.
In short, loyalty in people creates a breeding ground for expectation, guilt, manipulation and resentment (these emotions are SO normal in relationships most people are not aware they form the basis in which relating occurs).
But as you start waking up and become more Self Intelligent, what was hiding in the background is now slapping you in the face.
You can’t UNSEE this SHIT. There’s no going back.
This is when a little panic can set it with a big old dose of “what if”
- What if I become unrelatable?
- What happens when I’m completely disinterested in meaningless conversations?
- What if I can’t bear another delusional promise, mask of happiness, pang of neediness or woft of pretence (the smell of B.S.)
Will I be completely alone playing with the butterflies deep in the forest where everything effortlessly makes sense and no filler non-sense is needed?
ANSWER: well No, but you may enjoy that immensely
True freedom doesn’t come without its tests and relationships happen to be right up there with the best of them.
You are being tested on your resolve to stay loyal to the truth and TRUST your deepest values of connection will naturally arise through this, rather than neediness and manipulative expectations.
Freedom doesn’t come for FREE. You must earn it through your willingness to LET GO of things that no longer resonate with the truth in your heart
BUT BE WARNED – Your EGO is going to throw worse case scenarios at you. It’s going to catastrophize what will happen – you must be aware of this or you will cave into it’s unbearable projections, such as being a lonely, disillusioned new ager sporting a faded tie-dye t-shirt on a Byron bay street corner playing a tambourine (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Plus the universal gatekeeper fears the ego will present – the Ego is so predictable once you understand it.
After walking thousands of clients and myself through this process, the outcomes have been quite surprising. When you live and speak from a place of truth (notice I didn’t say preach or convince), you create an INVITATION for those around you to enter. And it can be very surprising who chooses to enter and who doesn’t. The point is YOU don’t know who will, you must let go and trust (having solid guidance in these times is pretty key).
On the path of waking up, often (not always) your relationships go from quantity (larger numbers) to quality (smaller numbers).
In these ‘quality’ relationships there is no place for meaningless filler and dumping B.S. as a means for connection.
You are now free to play, share, be spontaneous and most importantly, be at ease in comfortable silence.
I am blessed with these connections with my close family, friends and intimate relationships. These people are all loyal to the truth, not me ‘the person’, and I have never experienced more love and wholesome fun in my life.
It is only natural to share our lives with others. With Self Intelligence you can learn how to attract and create the most beautiful relationships that make a huge impact in your community by anchoring the truth at the heart of the conversation.